Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life
Look, if Saint Elizabeth doesn’t think it’s a big deal, all this bullying probably won’t have any negative effects on anyone.
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost, which is a Sweet Valley retelling of A Christmas Carol, with pop stars and talking unicorns (not the girl gang), and loads of versions of Jessica… all of which she takes a few minutes to identify as being herself (or Liz).
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #3: The Big Camp Secret, in which the Wakefield Twins attend a Sleepaway Camp, and ACTUALLY ENTER A CONTEST THEY DON’T WIN.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #2: Holiday Mischief, in which there are spies, disappearing ink, and the most inept choral leaders on the planet.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 22: Out of Place. Once again the harpies of Sweet Valley decide to bully a new student to the point of suicide, and somehow that’s ok.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 21: Left Behind, where Saint Elizabeth solves everything. Again.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #19: The Bully, a book which begs the question, “What are the cave’s dimensions?”
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Wing Recaps Sweet Valley Twins 16: Second Best. Where brothers dislike each other, and it’s up to busybody Elizabeth to turn them into BFFs.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #12: Keeping Secrets, wherein Ned teaches the girls a secret (and tedious) language and IT TEARS THE SCHOOL APART!
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #11: Buried Treasure wherein Ellen and Jessica find buried treasure at the exact moment the class money goes missing and conclusions are drawn.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #9: Against the Rules, wherein Elizabeth befriends a poor person. And her parents don’t like it. Can you blame them? You don’t live in Sweet Valley to bump into poor people.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #6: The New Girl, wherein the twins meet a girl so obnoxious that it creates a triplet named Jennifer. Bullying is fun!
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #4: Choosing Sides, wherein Amy wants to twirl a baton, Jessica doesn’t want her to, and Elizabeth feebly stands in the middle, wondering whose side to take.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #3: The Haunted House, where the entire school mistakes an orphan for a witch, and bullies her accordingly.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #1: Best Friends, wherein we meet the perfect twins… and Wing is displeased
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