Sweet Valley Twins #59: Barnyard Battle
Raven recaps Barnyard Battle, in which Elizabeth nearly dies in a lightning storm and no one gives a tiny rat’s ass.
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Character: Charlie Cashman
A bully? A trouble-maker? I dunno, he pops up when conflict is necessary.
Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott and burns everything to the fucking ground. Fuck gender essentialism. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck Wakefields Must Win.
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Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins, in which Jessica launches a rival newspaper, many lies are told and Amy Sutton can just get in the f***ing sea.
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Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool!
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool! This book sees Elizabeth and Jessica join forces against their brother Stephen, who has become possessed by a giant squid. The fourteen-year-old sandwich chomper threatens to squirt his murky ink all over Sweet Valley, and the twins decree he Must Be Stopped. (Actually, that’s a big lie… April Fool!)
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Sweet Valley Twins #18: Center of Attention
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #18: Center of Attention. And she loves it. Massively. We can mock her for this.
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Sweet Valley Twins #17: Boys Against Girls
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 17: Boys Against Girls, and loves it! Wing and Raven? Not so much.
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Sweet Valley Twins #12: Keeping Secrets
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #12: Keeping Secrets, wherein Ned teaches the girls a secret (and tedious) language and IT TEARS THE SCHOOL APART!
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Sweet Valley Twins #11: Buried Treasure
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #11: Buried Treasure wherein Ellen and Jessica find buried treasure at the exact moment the class money goes missing and conclusions are drawn.
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Sweet Valley Twins #3: The Haunted House
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #3: The Haunted House, where the entire school mistakes an orphan for a witch, and bullies her accordingly.
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