Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life
Sometimes something is so utterly incomprehensible that you just need to ask “What are the cave’s dimensions?” The phrase comes from The Bully, where a cave has a water run-off that actually goes uphill, therefore instead of draining the cave, it floods it. And you have to ask, who the fuck not only came up with this asinine idea, but how many people signed off on it?
Dove recaps The Unicorn Club #17: Rachel’s In, Lila’s Out and fixates on the one throwaway line that there are 75 rooms in Fowler Crest. That’s tells you all you need to know about how good the plot is.
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Dove recaps Team Sweet Valley #2: Win One For Sandra and loathes every second of it, with special shout-out to Elizabeth-behaving-as-Jessica and Supah Speshul Sandra, not to mention the incomprehensible layout of where these games take place.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #118: No Escape!, the last in the main SVT series – where Mr Seigel is crowned GOD OF TERRIBLE TEACHERS and Dove becomes Team Elizabeth in response.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #103: Elizabeth Solves It All, where this Jamie appears to hate Elizabeth as much as Dove does, and Amy Sutton is surprisingly awesome. Yeah, no, really.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #19: The Bully, a book which begs the question, “What are the cave’s dimensions?”
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