Sweet Valley Online

Evil twins snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

Wakefields Must Win

The universe will literally crumble to dust if one of those spoilt blonde twigs doesn’t win. No matter what they do, no matter what Jessica lies about, the universe will rearrange itself to prove that the twins are right and they always win.

Sorry, maybe I should flag this as “spoilers”.

Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans wherein Melissa and Andy McCormick lose their mother and it's actually quite sad, and Elizabeth does very little, except show up every few pages to remind us that she exists.

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Sweet Valley Twins 52: Booster Boycott by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott by Wing
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott and burns everything to the fucking ground. Fuck gender essentialism. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck Wakefields Must Win.

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Sweet Valley Twins 51: Elizabeth the Impossible by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible wherein Elizabeth enters an abusive relationship and changes everything about herself to appease her abuser. Or she gets too big for her boots after winning a few awards. You decide what you think the book's about.

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Sweet Valley Twins #48: Mandy Miller Fights Back by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #48: Mandy Miller Fights Back by Raven
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #49: Mandy Miller Fights Back, in which we meet the best Sweet Valley peripheral character yet!

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Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica by Wing
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica, wherein Brooke becomes Brookette (trés French) and Jessica's family use humiliation to teach her a lesson.

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