Sweet Valley Online

Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

Wakefields Must Win

The universe will literally crumble to dust if one of those spoilt blonde twigs doesn’t win. No matter what they do, no matter what Jessica lies about, the universe will rearrange itself to prove that the twins are right and they always win.

Sorry, maybe I should flag this as “spoilers”.


Sweet Valley Twins #70: Psychic Sisters by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #70: Psychic Sisters (7 Jan 2019)
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #70: Psychic Sisters. If the twins COULD read minds, Steven would be in jail.

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Sweet Valley Twins #65: Patty's Last Dance by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #65: Patty’s Last Dance (12 Nov 2018)
Wing recaps Patty's Last Dance and the book dances its way into her heart.

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Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans (20 Aug 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans wherein Melissa and Andy McCormick lose their mother and it's actually quite sad, and Elizabeth does very little, except show up every few pages to remind us that she exists.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4 The Unicorns Go Hawaiian by Jamie SuzanneSuper Editions: Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4: The Unicorns Go Hawaiian (16 Jul 2018)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4: The Unicorns Go Hawaiian

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Sweet Valley Twins 52: Booster Boycott by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott (18 Jun 2018)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott and burns everything to the fucking ground. Fuck gender essentialism. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck Wakefields Must Win.

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Sweet Valley Twins 51: Elizabeth the Impossible by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible (4 Jun 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible wherein Elizabeth enters an abusive relationship and changes everything about herself to appease her abuser. Or she gets too big for her boots after winning a few awards. You decide what you think the book's about.

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Sweet Valley Twins #48: Mandy Miller Fights Back by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #48: Mandy Miller Fights Back (8 May 2018)
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #49: Mandy Miller Fights Back, in which we meet the best Sweet Valley peripheral character yet!

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Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica (23 Apr 2018)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica, wherein Brooke becomes Brookette (trés French) and Jessica's family use humiliation to teach her a lesson.

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Sweet Valley Twins 37: The War Between the Twins by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins (8 Jan 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins, in which Jessica launches a rival newspaper, many lies are told and Amy Sutton can just get in the f***ing sea.

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