Sweet Valley Online

Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

too many Peters

We are 40 books in, and there are six Peters already (Peter Jeffries, Peter DeHaven, Peter Sampson, Peter Moore, Pete Stone and Peter Burns). That is a new Peter every 6.6 books. The stats don’t lie. For fuck’s sake, Jamie Suzanne, John is the most common boy’s name.


Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War (1 Jul 2019)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War, wherein middle school is exactly like the Cold War, Ellen's dad wears a funny hat, and Johnny Buck again fails to move to Sweet Valley

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Sweet Valley Twins 75: Jessica and the EarthquakeSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake (4 Mar 2019)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake, which unfortunately does not have the same body count as the Sweet Valley High book called Earthquake.

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Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion (28 Jan 2019)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion

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Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees (14 Jan 2019)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees wherein #BestJess attempts to save the trees, Elizabeth is genuinely useless, facts are a last resort.

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Sweet Valley Twins 66: The Great Boyfriend Switch by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #66: The Great Boyfriend Switch (20 Nov 2018)
Raven recaps The Great Boyfriend Switch, and needs a spreadsheet to keep track on all the Twinny subterfuge.

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Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley (25 Jun 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley wherein she over-identifies with a nerd, keeps saying Smooze instead of "the Slime" and Jessica's first kiss gets revoked.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #2: The Ghost in the Graveyard by Jamie SuzanneSuper Chillers: Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #2: The Ghost in the Graveyard (12 Feb 2018)
Raven recaps Sweet VAlley Twins Super Chiller 2: The Ghost in the Graveyard. There's a ghost... but is it in a graveyard? Enquiring minds want to know!

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Sweet Valley Twins 40: Danny Means Trouble by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #40: Danny Means Trouble (5 Feb 2018)
Dove slugs her way through another Very Special Episode during which she wants to murder Elizabeth. More than usual.

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Sweet Valley Twins 34: Jessica the Rock Star by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #34: Jessica the Rock Star (4 Dec 2017)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #34 Jessica the Rock Star, in which Jessica both CANNOT and CAN sing, and the Unicorns host a billion parties.

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