Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life
How on earth would we survive without Saint Elizabeth?
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans wherein Melissa and Andy McCormick lose their mother and it’s actually quite sad, and Elizabeth does very little, except show up every few pages to remind us that she exists.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible wherein Elizabeth enters an abusive relationship and changes everything about herself to appease her abuser. Or she gets too big for her boots after winning a few awards. You decide what you think the book’s about.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #50: Jessica and the Secret Star, in which the New Girl has a dark and mysterious toilet-paper-shaped past…
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Dove recaps Lucy Takes the Reins, wherein Dove doesn’t care in the slightest about Lucy, but ADORES WHOLEHEARTEDLY the b-plot, which features #BestJess
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Raven recaps the totally forgettable… erm… huh… what was it again? Something to do with a fire? Oh yeah, Sweet Valley Twins #44: Amy Moves In.
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Dove slugs her way through another Very Special Episode during which she wants to murder Elizabeth. More than usual.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #36: Mary is Missing and though everybody’s a sleuth no one wears a dramatic trench coat.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #34 Jessica the Rock Star, in which Jessica both CANNOT and CAN sing, and the Unicorns host a billion parties.
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Wing Recaps Sweet Valley Twins #32: Jessica on Stage, wherein Jessica gets mentored by the Sweet Valley equivalent of Doris Day. Because why not?
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 26: Taking Charge, in which the b-plot is the most compelling thing, because it doesn’t require an iron grip on the idiot ball.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 21: Left Behind, where Saint Elizabeth solves everything. Again.
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Raven recaps the very worst that Sweet Valley Twins has to offer: Super Edition #1: The Class Trip. Nobody likes this book. Like, ever.
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Wing Recaps Sweet Valley Twins 16: Second Best. Where brothers dislike each other, and it’s up to busybody Elizabeth to turn them into BFFs.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #14: Tug of War, the first in the series to reuse a plot – and only two books after the last time this plot was used: student council elections!
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