Sweet Valley Online

Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

Shame you’re not a perfect size 6

Look, we all know that fat people are the worst. And that being a perfect size 6 is the dream. Well, before size zero happened.


Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #6: The Curse of the Golden Heart by Jamie SuzanneSuper Chillers: Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #6: The Curse of the Golden Heart (24 Jun 2019)
Title: The Curse of the Golden Heart (or Curse Stories 2: Electric Boogaloo) Tagline: Pirate treasure! Summary: A broken heart… It’s spring, and identical twins Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield are taking a scuba diving course at Pirates Cove. On their first dive the twins discover the remains of an old pirate ship, and half a […]

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Sweet Valley Twins #74: Elizabeth the Hero by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #74: Elizabeth the Hero (11 Feb 2019)
Raven recaps sweet Valley Twins #74: Elizabeth the Hero, in which Elizabeth saves Denny Jacobson's life over and over again, yet no one thinks to stab Steven in the face.

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Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married (10 Dec 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married, wherein each twin gets paired with an even worse version of themself and wacky hi-jinks ensue with bonus baby (egg) death! #RIPStevenFidos #NeverForget

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Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #1: The Magic Christmas by Jamie SuzanneMagna Editions: Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #1: The Magic Christmas (5 Nov 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #1: The Magic Christmas wherein the emphasis is on the Magic rather than the Christmas, dolls can move, creatures die, and gosh, this summary sounds dark.

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Sweet Valley Twins 51: Elizabeth the Impossible by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible (4 Jun 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible wherein Elizabeth enters an abusive relationship and changes everything about herself to appease her abuser. Or she gets too big for her boots after winning a few awards. You decide what you think the book's about.

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Sweet Valley Twins 37: The War Between the Twins by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins (8 Jan 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins, in which Jessica launches a rival newspaper, many lies are told and Amy Sutton can just get in the f***ing sea.

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Sweet Valley Twins 29: Jessica and the Brat Attack by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack (9 Oct 2017)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack, wherein Jess faces four children more evil and annoying than herself. And Wing has zero sympathy. It is beautiful.

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Sweet Valley Twins 28: April Fool by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool! (25 Sep 2017)
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool! This book sees Elizabeth and Jessica join forces against their brother Stephen, who has become possessed by a giant squid. The fourteen-year-old sandwich chomper threatens to squirt his murky ink all over Sweet Valley, and the twins decree he Must Be Stopped. (Actually, that's a big lie... April Fool!)

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Sweet Valley Twins 25: Standing Out by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #25: Standing Out (28 Aug 2017)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 25: Standing Out, in which Billie Layton has to deal with getting her period, liking boys, and having her shitbag parents steal her name and give it to their new child.

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Sweet Valley Twins 19: The Bully - Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #19: The Bully (26 Jun 2017)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #19: The Bully, a book she loves the idea of, but loathes the execution of.

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