Sweet Valley Online

Evil twins snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

recaps by Dove

Sweet Valley Twins #47: Jessica's New Look by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #47: Jessica’s New Look by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 47: Jessica’s New Look, wherein Jessica is a boring, self-centred twat who whines a lot about how wearing glasses is LITERALLY THE WORST. No. This book is the worst.

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Sweet Valley Twins #45: Lucy Takes the Reins by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #45: Lucy Takes the Reins by Dove
Dove recaps Lucy Takes the Reins, wherein Dove doesn't care in the slightest about Lucy, but ADORES WHOLEHEARTEDLY the b-plot, which features #BestJess

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Sweet Valley Twins 42: Jessica’s Secret by Jamie Suzanne (Katherine Applegate and Michael Grant) Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica’s Secret by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica's Secret, wherein we find people both stupider and bitchier than the Unicorns, and Elizabeth wants to know: HAVE YOU STARTED YOUR PERIOD?

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost by Jamie Suzanne Super Chillers: Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost, which is a Sweet Valley retelling of A Christmas Carol, with pop stars and talking unicorns (not the girl gang), and loads of versions of Jessica... all of which she takes a few minutes to identify as being herself (or Liz).

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Sweet Valley Twins 31: Jessicas Bad Idea by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #31: Jessica’s Bad Idea by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 31: Jessica's Bad Idea, in which the most loathesome creature on the planet goes toe-to-toe with... Jessica? Yes. There is someone *worse* than Jess in Sweet Valley.

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Sweet Valley Twins 30: Princess Elizabeth by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #30: Princess Elizabeth by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 30: Princess Elizabeth, in which we learn that the Santa Doran monarchy have incredibly lax security, and that... DOVE LOATHES THE CONCEPT OF MONARCHY.

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Sweet Valley Twins 26: Taking Charge by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #26: Taking Charge by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 26: Taking Charge, in which the b-plot is the most compelling thing, because it doesn't require an iron grip on the idiot ball.

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Sweet Valley Twins 25: Standing Out by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #25: Standing Out by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 25: Standing Out, in which Billie Layton has to deal with getting her period, liking boys, and having her shitbag parents steal her name and give it to their new child.

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