Sweet Valley Online

Evil twins snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

recaps by Dove

Sweet Valley Twins #73: Lila's Music Video by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #73: Lila’s Music Video by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #73: Lila's Music Video wherein Lila eats off-brand ice cream and learns the value of friendship (again)

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Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees wherein #BestJess attempts to save the trees, Elizabeth is genuinely useless, facts are a last resort.

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Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married, wherein each twin gets paired with an even worse version of themself and wacky hi-jinks ensue with bonus baby (egg) death! #RIPStevenFidos #NeverForget

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Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #1: The Magic Christmas by Jamie Suzanne Magna Editions: Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #1: The Magic Christmas by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #1: The Magic Christmas wherein the emphasis is on the Magic rather than the Christmas, dolls can move, creatures die, and gosh, this summary sounds dark.

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Sweet Valley Twins 63: Poor Lila by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #63: Poor Lila! by Dove
Dove recaps the best book in the series, Sweet Valley Twins 63: Poor Lila!, wherein Lila is poor, the twins are nearly absent and EVERYONE is sassy.

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Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! by Dove
Dove recaps the most offensive book in the series to date, Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! wherein Jamie Suzanne wants us to really hate Italy. It's ok though, we just hate the Jamie Suzanne instead.

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Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans wherein Melissa and Andy McCormick lose their mother and it's actually quite sad, and Elizabeth does very little, except show up every few pages to remind us that she exists.

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Sweet Valley Twins #55: Brooke and her Rock-Star Mom by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #55: Brooke and her Rock-Star Mom by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #55: Brooke and her Rock-Star Mom wherein Coco, the newest hottest star, is a genuinely awful parent, allows her employee to abuse her daughter, and actively teaches her daughter to keep secrets from her father.

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Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley wherein she over-identifies with a nerd, keeps saying Smooze instead of "the Slime" and Jessica's first kiss gets revoked.

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Sweet Valley Twins 51: Elizabeth the Impossible by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible wherein Elizabeth enters an abusive relationship and changes everything about herself to appease her abuser. Or she gets too big for her boots after winning a few awards. You decide what you think the book's about.

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