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Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

Jessica’s New Fave Hobby

Jessica is like a Sim. She has a One True Hobby.

Jessica is like a Sim being played by Dove. She gets her One True Hobby rerolled every five or six minutes because actually, come to think of it, that one’s boring, let’s see what else is out there.


Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees (14 Jan 2019)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees wherein #BestJess attempts to save the trees, Elizabeth is genuinely useless, facts are a last resort.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace by Jamie SuzanneSuper Chillers: Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace (1 Jan 2019)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace and it has everything wonderful! Vengeful ghosts! Murder mysteries! #bestjess everywhere!

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Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley (25 Jun 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley wherein she over-identifies with a nerd, keeps saying Smooze instead of "the Slime" and Jessica's first kiss gets revoked.

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Sweet Valley Twins #45: Lucy Takes the Reins by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #45: Lucy Takes the Reins (9 Apr 2018)
Dove recaps Lucy Takes the Reins, wherein Dove doesn't care in the slightest about Lucy, but ADORES WHOLEHEARTEDLY the b-plot, which features #BestJess

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Sweet Valley Twins 40: Danny Means Trouble by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #40: Danny Means Trouble (5 Feb 2018)
Dove slugs her way through another Very Special Episode during which she wants to murder Elizabeth. More than usual.

 Elizabeth’s book-long soulmate: 

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Sweet Valley Twins 37: The War Between the Twins by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins (8 Jan 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins, in which Jessica launches a rival newspaper, many lies are told and Amy Sutton can just get in the f***ing sea.

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Sweet Valley Twins 34: Jessica the Rock Star by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #34: Jessica the Rock Star (4 Dec 2017)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #34 Jessica the Rock Star, in which Jessica both CANNOT and CAN sing, and the Unicorns host a billion parties.

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Sweet Valley Twins 32: Jessica on Stage by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #32: Jessica on Stage (15 Nov 2017)
Wing Recaps Sweet Valley Twins #32: Jessica on Stage, wherein Jessica gets mentored by the Sweet Valley equivalent of Doris Day. Because why not?

 Jessica’s hobby of the moment: 

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