Sweet Valley Online

Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

I’m scared of Jessica

Quite frankly, this kid is far too ruthless for a supposedly well-liked twelve year old.


Sweet Valley Twins 42: Jessica’s Secret by Jamie Suzanne (Katherine Applegate and Michael Grant)Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica’s Secret (5 Mar 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica's Secret, wherein we find people both stupider and bitchier than the Unicorns, and Elizabeth wants to know: HAVE YOU STARTED YOUR PERIOD?

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost by Jamie SuzanneSuper Chillers: Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost (18 Dec 2017)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost, which is a Sweet Valley retelling of A Christmas Carol, with pop stars and talking unicorns (not the girl gang), and loads of versions of Jessica... all of which she takes a few minutes to identify as being herself (or Liz).

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Sweet Valley Twins 31: Jessicas Bad Idea by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #31: Jessica’s Bad Idea (30 Oct 2017)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 31: Jessica's Bad Idea, in which the most loathesome creature on the planet goes toe-to-toe with... Jessica? Yes. There is someone *worse* than Jess in Sweet Valley.

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Sweet Valley Twins 29: Jessica and the Brat Attack by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack (9 Oct 2017)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack, wherein Jess faces four children more evil and annoying than herself. And Wing has zero sympathy. It is beautiful.

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Sweet Valley Twins 28: April Fool by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool! (25 Sep 2017)
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool! This book sees Elizabeth and Jessica join forces against their brother Stephen, who has become possessed by a giant squid. The fourteen-year-old sandwich chomper threatens to squirt his murky ink all over Sweet Valley, and the twins decree he Must Be Stopped. (Actually, that's a big lie... April Fool!)

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Sweet Valley Twins 20: Playing Hooky - Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #20: Playing Hooky (3 Jul 2017)
Title: Playing Hooky Tagline: How far will Elizabeth go to save her sister? [Raven: Not as far as Jessica, I’m sure.] [Wing: Not sure Jessica would go any sort of distance to save anyone else but herself.] Summary: Kent Kellerman, soap opera star, is coming to town. One whole episode of his show is being […]

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Sweet Valley Twins 18: Center of Attention - Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #18: Center of Attention (19 Jun 2017)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #18: Center of Attention. And she loves it. Massively. We can mock her for this.

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Sweet Valley Twins 15: The Older Boy - Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #15: The Older Boy (8 May 2017)
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins 15: The Older Boy... and loves it. Despite the easily-apparent squicky idea of a twelve year old dating a sixteen year old, this Jamie Suzanne seems to have pulled it off.

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Sweet Valley Twins 11: Buried Treasure (Image from Calibre dataSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #11: Buried Treasure (3 Apr 2017)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #11: Buried Treasure

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Sweet Valley Twins 10: One of the GangSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #10: One of the Gang (27 Mar 2017)
Title: One of the Gang Tagline: Is Jessica really as perfect as she thinks she is? (No. Jessica is a barely functioning sociopath – used in the literal sense, not the salacious.) Summary: Jessica Wakefield has always been the center of everything at school. And Pamela Jacobson has always spent her time on the sidelines, […]

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