Sweet Valley Online

Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

comments by Raven

[Maroon is Raven’s colour.]


Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie (1 Apr 2019)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie, which is offensive to voodoo practitioners, the disabled, Harriet Tubman and Sojourner Truth specifically, and is literally the worst Sweet Valley book Dove has ever read. That includes ithig.

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Sweet Valley Twins #77: Todd Runs Away by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #77: Todd Runs Away (26 Mar 2019)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #77: Todd Runs Away, and, shock of all shocks, REALLY LIKES TODD WILKINS. Who replaced her with some sort of Sweet Valley pod person?!

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Sweet Valley Twins #76: Yours for a Day by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #76: Yours for a Day (13 Mar 2019)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #76: Yours for a Day, and is way too charmed by a made-up holiday focused on pink romance.

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Sweet Valley Twins 75: Jessica and the EarthquakeSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake (4 Mar 2019)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake, which unfortunately does not have the same body count as the Sweet Valley High book called Earthquake.

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Sweet Valley Twins #73: Lila's Music Video by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #73: Lila’s Music Video (4 Feb 2019)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #73: Lila's Music Video wherein Lila eats off-brand ice cream and learns the value of friendship (again)

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Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion (28 Jan 2019)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion

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Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees (14 Jan 2019)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees wherein #BestJess attempts to save the trees, Elizabeth is genuinely useless, facts are a last resort.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace by Jamie SuzanneSuper Chillers: Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace (1 Jan 2019)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace and it has everything wonderful! Vengeful ghosts! Murder mysteries! #bestjess everywhere!

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Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married (10 Dec 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married, wherein each twin gets paired with an even worse version of themself and wacky hi-jinks ensue with bonus baby (egg) death! #RIPStevenFidos #NeverForget

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Sweet Valley Twins 67: Jessica the Thief by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief (3 Dec 2018)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief, and it's fun enough for an overdone plot and subplot. Also: Jessica is a damn thief all the damn time. Except this time.

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