Tag: A+ parenting

Nobody in Sweet Valley should be allowed to have a child.

Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans wherein Melissa and Andy McCormick lose their mother and it’s actually quite sad, and Elizabeth does very little, except show up every few pages to remind us that she exists.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins #55: Brooke and her Rock-Star Mom by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #55: Brooke and her Rock-Star Mom

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #55: Brooke and her Rock-Star Mom wherein Coco, the newest hottest star, is a genuinely awful parent, allows her employee to abuse her daughter, and actively teaches her daughter to keep secrets from her father.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins 54: The Big Party Weekend by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #54: The Big Party Weekend

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #54: The Big Party Weekend, wherein the Wakefield siblings hold a super-cool party while their parents are off their boxes on disco biscuits.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins’ Little Sister by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #49: The Twins’ Little Sister

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins’ Little Sister by Jamie Suzanne, and no, the twins are not ready to be big sisters. They will never be ready.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica, wherein Brooke becomes Brookette (trés French) and Jessica’s family use humiliation to teach her a lesson.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins #41: The Twins Get Caught by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #41: The Twins Get Caught

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #41: The Twins Get Caught and resorts to bullet points really damn early because it is not a good time.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins 34: Jessica the Rock Star by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #34: Jessica the Rock Star

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #34 Jessica the Rock Star, in which Jessica both CANNOT and CAN sing, and the Unicorns host a billion parties.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #3: The Big Camp Secret by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #3: The Big Camp Secret

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #3: The Big Camp Secret, in which the Wakefield Twins attend a Sleepaway Camp, and ACTUALLY ENTER A CONTEST THEY DON’T WIN.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins 29: Jessica and the Brat Attack by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack, wherein Jess faces four children more evil and annoying than herself. And Wing has zero sympathy. It is beautiful.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins 28: April Fool by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool!

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool! This book sees Elizabeth and Jessica join forces against their brother Stephen, who has become possessed by a giant squid. The fourteen-year-old sandwich chomper threatens to squirt his murky ink all over Sweet Valley, and the twins decree he Must Be Stopped. (Actually, that’s a big lie… April Fool!)

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins 27: Teamwork by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #27: Teamwork

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #27: Teamwork, in which a dog gets a bad dye job and Ken Matthews doesn’t get paid for his hard work. Oh, and the twins exist.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins 26: Taking Charge by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #26: Taking Charge

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 26: Taking Charge, in which the b-plot is the most compelling thing, because it doesn’t require an iron grip on the idiot ball.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins 25: Standing Out by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #25: Standing Out

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 25: Standing Out, in which Billie Layton has to deal with getting her period, liking boys, and having her shitbag parents steal her name and give it to their new child.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins 21: Left Behind - Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #21: Left Behind

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 21: Left Behind, where Saint Elizabeth solves everything. Again.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins 19: The Bully - Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #19: The Bully

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #19: The Bully, a book which begs the question, “What are the cave’s dimensions?”

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins 17: Boys Against Girls - Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #17: Boys Against Girls

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 17: Boys Against Girls, and loves it! Wing and Raven? Not so much.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins 16: Second Best - Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #16: Second Best

Wing Recaps Sweet Valley Twins 16: Second Best. Where brothers dislike each other, and it’s up to busybody Elizabeth to turn them into BFFs.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins 14: Tug of War by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #14: Tug of War

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #14: Tug of War, the first in the series to reuse a plot – and only two books after the last time this plot was used: student council elections!

Continue reading

Sweet Valley Twins #13: Stretching the Truth

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #13: Stretching the Truth, wherein Mary is on her second of three surnames and is feeling very out of sorts, and no adult appears to have noticed.

Continue reading

Sweet Valley Twins #11: Buried Treasure

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #11: Buried Treasure wherein Ellen and Jessica find buried treasure at the exact moment the class money goes missing and conclusions are drawn.

Continue reading