Posted in Sweet Valley Twins

Sweet Valley Twins #81: Robbery At The Mall

Sweet Valley Twins #81: Robbery at the Mall by Jamie Suzanne
Sweet Valley Twins #81: Robbery at the Mall by Jamie Suzanne

Title: Robbery at the Mall

Tagline: Shopping can be dangerous…

Summary: Elizabeth Wakefield and her friend Maria Slater are filming at the Valley Mall with Maria’s new video camera when a jewelry shop is robbed right in front of their eyes! Elizabeth can’t believe the criminal escaped in broad daylight through the crowded mall. She and Maria decide it’s time to start investigating.

Soon after, both the stereo store and the camera store are robbed. Elizabeth is desperate to crack the case. If only there were a clue… Then Maria’s house is robbed and her entire collection of video tapes is stolen. Why would anyone want Maria’s home movies? Finally Elizabeth thinks she has her clue.

Have she and Maria held the key to the mall mystery all along?

Initial Thoughts:

Ooooh, exciting! Some sixth graders are at the mall, and a robbery occurs.

In all seriousness, is sounds like a decent Plucky Girl Detective romp, and has gotta beat stuff like, I dunno, Ithig or Jonny Buck’s flying limousine.

Also, PINKEST COVER EVER! A pink cover showcasing two girls dressed in pink, outside a jewellers which has an odd essence of pink without being actually pink at all.

Finally, hello! You’re right, it HAS been a while.

[Dove: Maria looks like she’s about to twat Liz with that camera. I hope she does.]

[Wing: They are dressed far too much alike for me.]

[Raven: Also, apologies for the weird formatting. It’ll be back to normal asap!]

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Posted in Sweet Valley Twins

Sweet Valley Twins #4: Choosing Sides

Sweet Valley Twins 4: Choosing Sides
Sweet Valley Twins 4: Choosing Sides (image from Calibre data scrape – think it’s from Shannon’s Sweet Valley site)

Title: Choosing Sides

Tagline: Is Elizabeth’s best friend more important than her own twin sister? Answer: According to the previous three books, her best friend is her twin sister, but pretty much everyone should be more important than Jessica. Jessica is horrible.

Summary: Amy wants to be on The Boosters, but Elizabeth learns the Unicorns will do anything to keep her off the squad, including Jessica! Whose side should she take? Answer: Jesus fuck, she should take Amy’s side! She dislikes the entire point of the Unicorns and knows how mean and terrible they are. Why would she support more bullying and exclusivity from them?

Initial Thoughts:

I hate everything about this series, these main characters, these books, this writing — everything. The only good thing is waiting for Raven or Dove to go boom.

Also, Dove made me do this for my birthday, because she hates me. *drinks* [Dove: Yeah, but on our other site I gave you a month of werewolves for your birthday.] [Wing: I am as yet undecided whether that makes up for this fiasco. The month of werewolves will end, but I’m scheduled to do these recaps until 20-fucking-21.]

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