Character: Steven Wakefield

Irritating older brother of the twins. His personality bounces wildly between wise protective big brother and colossal asshat.

Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie, which is offensive to voodoo practitioners, the disabled, Harriet Tubman and Sojourner Truth specifically, and is literally the worst Sweet Valley book Dove has ever read. That includes ithig.

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Sweet Valley Twins #77: Todd Runs Away by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #77: Todd Runs Away

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #77: Todd Runs Away, and, shock of all shocks, REALLY LIKES TODD WILKINS. Who replaced her with some sort of Sweet Valley pod person?!

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Sweet Valley Twins 75: Jessica and the Earthquake

Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake, which unfortunately does not have the same body count as the Sweet Valley High book called Earthquake.

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Magna Edition 2 - A Christmas Without Elizabeth

Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #2: A Christmas Without Elizabeth

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #2: A Christmas Without Elizabeth, in which Elizabeth Lassos the Moon. Merry Chrismas, Sweet Valley!

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Sweet Valley Twins #74: Elizabeth the Hero by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #74: Elizabeth the Hero

Raven recaps sweet Valley Twins #74: Elizabeth the Hero, in which Elizabeth saves Denny Jacobson’s life over and over again, yet no one thinks to stab Steven in the face.

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Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion, wherein the Unicorns make a love potion. What, you thought it was a clever title?

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Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees wherein #BestJess attempts to save the trees, Elizabeth is genuinely useless, facts are a last resort.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace and it has everything wonderful! Vengeful ghosts! Murder mysteries! #bestjess everywhere!

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Sweet Valley Twins #69: Won't Someone Help Anna by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #69: Won’t Someone Help Anna?

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #69: Won’t Someone Help Anna? There’s a new girl in town, and she’s deaf. BURN HER! BURN THE WITCH!

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Sweet Valley Twins 67: Jessica the Thief by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief, and it’s fun enough for an overdone plot and subplot. Also: Jessica is a damn thief all the damn time. Except this time.

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Sweet Valley Twins #64: The Charm School Mystery by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #64: The Charm School Mystery

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #64: The Charm School Mystery, which abounds with mystery and a little schooling, but has infinite charm.

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Sweet Valley Twins 62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mom by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mum

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mum and is both annoyed and bored. How? How is that even possible? All these great tropes and yet the story is terrible.

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Sweet Valley Twins 61: Jessica the Nerd by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #61: Jessica the Nerd

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #61: Jessica the Nerd, in which Jessica is forced to choose between Nerds and Unicorns, with surprising (and entertaining) results.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4: The Ghost in the Bell Tower by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #4: The Ghost in the Bell Tower

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #4: The Ghost in the Bell Tower by Francine Pascal and it’s great, creepy fun … except the point is to make Elizabeth believe in ghosts AND SHE ALREADY SHOULD.

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Sweet Valley Twins #56: The Wakefields Strike it Rich by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #56: The Wakefields Strike It Rich

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #56: The Wakefields Strike It Rich, in which Great Aunt Helen gives the Wakefield Siblings a large cash payout, and a reason for them to murder her for a sizeable inheritance.

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Sweet Valley Twins 54: The Big Party Weekend by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #54: The Big Party Weekend

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #54: The Big Party Weekend, wherein the Wakefield siblings hold a super-cool party while their parents are off their boxes on disco biscuits.

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Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins’ Little Sister by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #49: The Twins’ Little Sister

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins’ Little Sister by Jamie Suzanne, and no, the twins are not ready to be big sisters. They will never be ready.

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Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica, wherein Brooke becomes Brookette (trés French) and Jessica’s family use humiliation to teach her a lesson.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #3: The Carnival Ghost by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #3: The Carnival Ghost

Wing forgot to fill this in, so Dove will summarise: Wing falls hopelessly in love with this awesome story, wherein Liz makes BFFs with a ghost, Lila is sass personified, Jessica is a true believer, and DOVE WAS RIGHT THAT THIS IS THE BEST SWEET VALLEY BOOK EVER.

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