Character: Ned Wakefield

Law-practicing father of the twins. Not sure what kind of law, he seems to know about adoption, land, wills and corporate. Clearly must be a nightmare to work with. Or he’s still a trainee and is doing a three month seat in each area?

Legal Practice areas: Family (#7 Three’s a Crowd); Corpoate/Copyright/IP (#18 Centre of Attention); and more to come as we cover those books.

Sweet Valley Twins #84: Romeo and Two Juliets

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #84: Romeo and Two Juliets and it is filled with delightful Twin … what’s the opposite of Magic? That.

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Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #3: BIG for Christmas

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #3: BIG for Christmas wherein Jamie Suzanne rips off a well-known plot, gives Elizabeth a spine, and makes me question how slutty silk is.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #6: The Curse of the Golden Heart by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #6: The Curse of the Golden Heart

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller: The Curse of the Golden Heart. There are far too many dreams and far too little cursing.

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Magna Edition 2 - A Christmas Without Elizabeth

Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #2: A Christmas Without Elizabeth

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #2: A Christmas Without Elizabeth, in which Elizabeth Lassos the Moon. Merry Chrismas, Sweet Valley!

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Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees wherein #BestJess attempts to save the trees, Elizabeth is genuinely useless, facts are a last resort.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace and it has everything wonderful! Vengeful ghosts! Murder mysteries! #bestjess everywhere!

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Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married, wherein each twin gets paired with an even worse version of themself and wacky hi-jinks ensue with bonus baby (egg) death! #RIPStevenFidos #NeverForget

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Sweet Valley Twins 67: Jessica the Thief by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief, and it’s fun enough for an overdone plot and subplot. Also: Jessica is a damn thief all the damn time. Except this time.

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Sweet Valley Twins #64: The Charm School Mystery by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #64: The Charm School Mystery

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #64: The Charm School Mystery, which abounds with mystery and a little schooling, but has infinite charm.

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Sweet Valley Twins 62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mom by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mum

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mum and is both annoyed and bored. How? How is that even possible? All these great tropes and yet the story is terrible.

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Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins’ Little Sister by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #49: The Twins’ Little Sister

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins’ Little Sister by Jamie Suzanne, and no, the twins are not ready to be big sisters. They will never be ready.

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Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica, wherein Brooke becomes Brookette (trés French) and Jessica’s family use humiliation to teach her a lesson.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #3: The Carnival Ghost by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #3: The Carnival Ghost

Wing forgot to fill this in, so Dove will summarise: Wing falls hopelessly in love with this awesome story, wherein Liz makes BFFs with a ghost, Lila is sass personified, Jessica is a true believer, and DOVE WAS RIGHT THAT THIS IS THE BEST SWEET VALLEY BOOK EVER.

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Sweet Valley Twins 42: Jessica’s Secret by Jamie Suzanne (Katherine Applegate and Michael Grant)

Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica’s Secret

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica’s Secret, wherein we find people both stupider and bitchier than the Unicorns, and Elizabeth wants to know: HAVE YOU STARTED YOUR PERIOD?

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Sweet Valley Twins #41: The Twins Get Caught by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #41: The Twins Get Caught

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #41: The Twins Get Caught and resorts to bullet points really damn early because it is not a good time.

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Sweet Valley Twins 34: Jessica the Rock Star by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #34: Jessica the Rock Star

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #34 Jessica the Rock Star, in which Jessica both CANNOT and CAN sing, and the Unicorns host a billion parties.

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Jessica vs Elizabeth (The Hunger Games) by Dove

NaNoWriMo2017: Jessica vs Elizabeth – Chapters 3 & 4

Dove continues to word vomit for NaNoWriMo. The Hunger Games tributes are announced. Who will be on there? Do they have a hope in hell against Jessica? (No, they don’t. They need your sponsorship. Sponsorship = leave a comment, not money.)

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Sweet Valley Twins 29: Jessica and the Brat Attack by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack, wherein Jess faces four children more evil and annoying than herself. And Wing has zero sympathy. It is beautiful.

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