Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life
Member of the Unicorn Club, Jessica’s BFF (Best Frenemy Forever), Janet’s cousin. Fabulously wealthy.
Dove continues to word vomit for NaNoWriMo. The Hunger Games tributes are announced. Who will be on there? Do they have a hope in hell against Jessica? (No, they don’t. They need your sponsorship. Sponsorship = leave a comment, not money.)
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Dove desperately tries to complete NaNoWriMo. The twins will be entering into The Hunger Games. Who will survive? Will you sponsor a tribute? (Yes, you will. I need you to. Comments are the only currency required.)
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack, wherein Jess faces four children more evil and annoying than herself. And Wing has zero sympathy. It is beautiful.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool! This book sees Elizabeth and Jessica join forces against their brother Stephen, who has become possessed by a giant squid. The fourteen-year-old sandwich chomper threatens to squirt his murky ink all over Sweet Valley, and the twins decree he Must Be Stopped. (Actually, that’s a big lie… April Fool!)
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #27: Teamwork, in which a dog gets a bad dye job and Ken Matthews doesn’t get paid for his hard work. Oh, and the twins exist.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 25: Standing Out, in which Billie Layton has to deal with getting her period, liking boys, and having her shitbag parents steal her name and give it to their new child.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins 23: Claim to Fame, wherein the school inexplicably celebrates being 25 years old by burying a time capsule containing stuff from 25 years ago.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 21: Left Behind, where Saint Elizabeth solves everything. Again.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #19: The Bully, a book which begs the question, “What are the cave’s dimensions?”
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #18: Center of Attention. And she loves it. Massively. We can mock her for this.
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Raven recaps the very worst that Sweet Valley Twins has to offer: Super Edition #1: The Class Trip. Nobody likes this book. Like, ever.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 17: Boys Against Girls, and loves it! Wing and Raven? Not so much.
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Wing Recaps Sweet Valley Twins 16: Second Best. Where brothers dislike each other, and it’s up to busybody Elizabeth to turn them into BFFs.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins 15: The Older Boy… and loves it. Despite the easily-apparent squicky idea of a twelve year old dating a sixteen year old, this Jamie Suzanne seems to have pulled it off.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #14: Tug of War, the first in the series to reuse a plot – and only two books after the last time this plot was used: student council elections!
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #13: Stretching the Truth, wherein Mary is on her second of three surnames and is feeling very out of sorts, and no adult appears to have noticed.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #12: Keeping Secrets, wherein Ned teaches the girls a secret (and tedious) language and IT TEARS THE SCHOOL APART!
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #11: Buried Treasure wherein Ellen and Jessica find buried treasure at the exact moment the class money goes missing and conclusions are drawn.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #10: One of the Gang wherein we learn that having a sprained ankle is EXACTLY THE SAME as a disability
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #8: First Place, wherein Lila Fowler gets a horse, and Elizabeth feels she is the one who “deserves” it.
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