Sweet Valley Online

Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

Character: Janet Howell

President of the Unicorn Club and Lila’s cousin. Kind of a moron and a dickhead. Possibly the only girl in seventh grade. Apparently very popular, despite the fact that nobody likes her. It’s a conundrum.


Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie (1 Apr 2019)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie, which is offensive to voodoo practitioners, the disabled, Harriet Tubman and Sojourner Truth specifically, and is literally the worst Sweet Valley book Dove has ever read. That includes ithig.

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Sweet Valley Twins #76: Yours for a Day by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #76: Yours for a Day (13 Mar 2019)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #76: Yours for a Day, and is way too charmed by a made-up holiday focused on pink romance.

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Sweet Valley Twins 75: Jessica and the EarthquakeSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake (4 Mar 2019)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake, which unfortunately does not have the same body count as the Sweet Valley High book called Earthquake.

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Sweet Valley Twins #74: Elizabeth the Hero by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #74: Elizabeth the Hero (11 Feb 2019)
Raven recaps sweet Valley Twins #74: Elizabeth the Hero, in which Elizabeth saves Denny Jacobson's life over and over again, yet no one thinks to stab Steven in the face.

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Sweet Valley Twins #73: Lila's Music Video by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #73: Lila’s Music Video (4 Feb 2019)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #73: Lila's Music Video wherein Lila eats off-brand ice cream and learns the value of friendship (again)

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Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees (14 Jan 2019)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees wherein #BestJess attempts to save the trees, Elizabeth is genuinely useless, facts are a last resort.

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Sweet Valley Twins #70: Psychic Sisters by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #70: Psychic Sisters (7 Jan 2019)
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #70: Psychic Sisters. If the twins COULD read minds, Steven would be in jail.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace by Jamie SuzanneSuper Chillers: Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace (1 Jan 2019)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace and it has everything wonderful! Vengeful ghosts! Murder mysteries! #bestjess everywhere!

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SVMS Yearbook Cover 2018Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Middle School Yearbook Superlatives (24 Dec 2018)
Raven and Dove never did yearbooks. They never did superlatives. They felt like they missed out. Here are what they came up with…

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Sweet Valley Twins 67: Jessica the Thief by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief (3 Dec 2018)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief, and it's fun enough for an overdone plot and subplot. Also: Jessica is a damn thief all the damn time. Except this time.

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