Ellen Riteman

Member of the Unicorn Club. Thick as two short planks. On the covers, she always looks like she’s been transplanted from the 1950s.

Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War

 Category: Sweet Valley Twins

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Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War by Jamie Suzanne

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War, wherein middle school is exactly like the Cold War, Ellen’s dad wears a funny hat, and Johnny Buck again fails to move to Sweet Valley

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #6: The Curse of the Golden Heart

 Category: Super Chillers

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #6: The Curse of the Golden Heart by Jamie Suzanne

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller: The Curse of the Golden Heart. There are far too many dreams and far too little cursing.

Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie

 Category: Sweet Valley Twins

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Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie by Jamie Suzanne

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie, which is offensive to voodoo practitioners, the disabled, Harriet Tubman and Sojourner Truth specifically, and is literally the worst Sweet Valley book Dove has ever read. That includes ithig.

Sweet Valley Twins #76: Yours for a Day

 Category: Sweet Valley Twins

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Sweet Valley Twins #76: Yours for a Day by Jamie Suzanne

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #76: Yours for a Day, and is way too charmed by a made-up holiday focused on pink romance.

Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake

 Category: Sweet Valley Twins

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Sweet Valley Twins 75: Jessica and the Earthquake

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake, which unfortunately does not have the same body count as the Sweet Valley High book called Earthquake.

Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #2: A Christmas Without Elizabeth

 Category: Magna Editions

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Magna Edition 2 - A Christmas Without Elizabeth

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #2: A Christmas Without Elizabeth, in which Elizabeth Lassos the Moon. Merry Chrismas, Sweet Valley!

Sweet Valley Twins #70: Psychic Sisters

 Category: Sweet Valley Twins

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Sweet Valley Twins #70: Psychic Sisters by Jamie Suzanne

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #70: Psychic Sisters. If the twins COULD read minds, Steven would be in jail.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace

 Category: Super Chillers

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace by Jamie Suzanne

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace and it has everything wonderful! Vengeful ghosts! Murder mysteries! #bestjess everywhere!

Sweet Valley Middle School Yearbook Superlatives

 Category: Sweet Valley Twins

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SVMS Yearbook Cover 2018

Raven and Dove never did yearbooks. They never did superlatives. They felt like they missed out. Here are what they came up with…

Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief

 Category: Sweet Valley Twins

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Sweet Valley Twins 67: Jessica the Thief by Jamie Suzanne

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief, and it’s fun enough for an overdone plot and subplot. Also: Jessica is a damn thief all the damn time. Except this time.