Sweet Valley Online

Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

Character: Bruce Patman

A super-rich, super-cute boy who is a year older than the twins, but appears to have no friends his own age, so he hangs out with the sixth grade. Seems like the type who wears a banana-hammock.


Sweet Valley Twins 75: Jessica and the EarthquakeSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake (4 Mar 2019)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake, which unfortunately does not have the same body count as the Sweet Valley High book called Earthquake.

 Jessica’s hobby of the moment: ,

 Characters: , , , , , , , , , , ,

 Relationships: , ,

 Events: 

Leave a comment

Sweet Valley Twins #70: Psychic Sisters by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #70: Psychic Sisters (7 Jan 2019)
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #70: Psychic Sisters. If the twins COULD read minds, Steven would be in jail.

 Jessica’s hobby of the moment: 

 Characters: , , , , , , , , , ,

 Events: 

Leave a comment

Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married (10 Dec 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married, wherein each twin gets paired with an even worse version of themself and wacky hi-jinks ensue with bonus baby (egg) death! #RIPStevenFidos #NeverForget

 Characters: , , , , , , , , , ,

 Relationships: ,

 Events: ,

Leave a comment

Sweet Valley Twins 67: Jessica the Thief by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief (3 Dec 2018)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief, and it's fun enough for an overdone plot and subplot. Also: Jessica is a damn thief all the damn time. Except this time.

 Elizabeth’s book-long soulmate: 

 Characters: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 Relationships: , ,

Leave a comment

Sweet Valley Twins 66: The Great Boyfriend Switch by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #66: The Great Boyfriend Switch (20 Nov 2018)
Raven recaps The Great Boyfriend Switch, and needs a spreadsheet to keep track on all the Twinny subterfuge.

 Characters: , , , , , , , , ,

 Relationships: , , , , ,

 Events: , , , ,

4 Comments

Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! (17 Sep 2018)
Dove recaps the most offensive book in the series to date, Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! wherein Jamie Suzanne wants us to really hate Italy. It's ok though, we just hate the Jamie Suzanne instead.

 Characters: , , , , , , , ,

 Relationships: 

 Events: 

5 Comments

Sweet Valley Twins 52: Booster Boycott by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott (18 Jun 2018)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott and burns everything to the fucking ground. Fuck gender essentialism. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck Wakefields Must Win.

 Elizabeth’s book-long soulmate: 

 Characters: , , , , , , , , , , ,

 Relationships: ,

 Events: ,

Leave a comment

Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins’ Little Sister by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #49: The Twins’ Little Sister (21 May 2018)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins' Little Sister by Jamie Suzanne, and no, the twins are not ready to be big sisters. They will never be ready.

 Elizabeth’s book-long soulmate: 

 Jessica’s hobby of the moment: 

 Characters: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 Relationships: , ,

 Events: 

Leave a comment

Sweet Valley Twins 44: Amy Moves In by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #44: Amy Moves In (3 Apr 2018)
Raven recaps the totally forgettable... erm... huh... what was it again? Something to do with a fire? Oh yeah, Sweet Valley Twins #44: Amy Moves In.

 Elizabeth’s book-long soulmate: 

 Characters: , , , , ,

 Events: 

3 Comments

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #3: The Carnival Ghost by Jamie SuzanneSuper Chillers: Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #3: The Carnival Ghost (26 Mar 2018)
Wing forgot to fill this in, so Dove will summarise: Wing falls hopelessly in love with this awesome story, wherein Liz makes BFFs with a ghost, Lila is sass personified, Jessica is a true believer, and DOVE WAS RIGHT THAT THIS IS THE BEST SWEET VALLEY BOOK EVER.

 Characters: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 Events: , , , ,

1 Comment