Sweet Valley Online

Evil twins snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life
I am Dove. I am: Team Jessica (Sweet Valley); Team Bad Guy (Point Horror);  Team Geiger (Making Out); Team Nina/Lucas (Making Out); and I am the voice of a claymation cow named Daisy, and I was in an advert for Fairy Liquid in the 80s.

Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #73: Lila’s Music Video (4 Feb 2019)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #73: Lila's Music Video wherein Lila eats off-brand ice cream and learns the value of friendship (again)
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Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees (14 Jan 2019)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees wherein #BestJess attempts to save the trees, Elizabeth is genuinely useless, facts are a last resort.
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Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Middle School Yearbook Superlatives (24 Dec 2018)
Raven and Dove never did yearbooks. They never did superlatives. They felt like they missed out. Here are what they came up with…
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Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married (10 Dec 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married, wherein each twin gets paired with an even worse version of themself and wacky hi-jinks ensue with bonus baby (egg) death! #RIPStevenFidos #NeverForget
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Magna Editions: Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #1: The Magic Christmas (5 Nov 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #1: The Magic Christmas wherein the emphasis is on the Magic rather than the Christmas, dolls can move, creatures die, and gosh, this summary sounds dark.
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Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #63: Poor Lila! (15 Oct 2018)
Dove recaps the best book in the series, Sweet Valley Twins 63: Poor Lila!, wherein Lila is poor, the twins are nearly absent and EVERYONE is sassy.
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Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! (17 Sep 2018)
Dove recaps the most offensive book in the series to date, Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! wherein Jamie Suzanne wants us to really hate Italy. It's ok though, we just hate the Jamie Suzanne instead.
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Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans (20 Aug 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans wherein Melissa and Andy McCormick lose their mother and it's actually quite sad, and Elizabeth does very little, except show up every few pages to remind us that she exists.
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Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #55: Brooke and her Rock-Star Mom (23 Jul 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #55: Brooke and her Rock-Star Mom wherein Coco, the newest hottest star, is a genuinely awful parent, allows her employee to abuse her daughter, and actively teaches her daughter to keep secrets from her father.
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Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley (25 Jun 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley wherein she over-identifies with a nerd, keeps saying Smooze instead of "the Slime" and Jessica's first kiss gets revoked.
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